New Live Murder Podcast, Tim Cook Admits, “I Hate Podcasts”, Ford CEO Uses Crystal Meth on Joe Rogan Experience

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New True Crime Podcast Features Murder In Progress

From the network that brought you Dirty John, and The Vanished, Podcast network Wondery is releasing their first ever, true, true-crime podcast, Watch Me Do It. The revolutionary show will follow disillusioned Uber driver, Jason Scott Smith as he plans, commits, and attempts to cover up a murder-spree in Gainesville Florida. Price-slashing deals available for Oxford Road advertisers, however Butcher Box has already signed on as Presenting Sponsor. Netflix has optioned the rights for the video docu-series.

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Salem Goes Full Podcast

Next month, Salem Communications is converting their News/Talk lineup to Podcast. New Podcasts by Larry Elder, Mike Gallagher, and Dennis Prager will be distributed exclusively across the country, via local AM Terrestrial signals on Salem’s radio stations. Simply called Radio the groundbreaking new line-up will consist of 3 to 4-hour programs supported by voiced and branded commercials from an array of advertisers. President of Programming, Jeff Winters said “we’re changing the game!” Some of the innovations on the new podcast include dynamically inserted, local news and traffic breaks between content offerings.

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Amazon Launches New Podcast About… YOU

Amazon is launching their much anticipated Your Life podcast next month. Based on the best content recorded in your home by Alexa, the show will focus on the most exciting moments of your past week. The new program will feature all your most share-worthy events, including arguments with your family, sounds from the bathroom, and one-way conversations with your dog. For now, the show will be ad free, but Amazon is in talks with your mom to tell you what you should, and shouldn’t buy and Oxford Road advertisers have been given first right of refusal.

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In Case You Missed It

Ford CEO Does Crystal Meth on the Joe Rogan Podcast

Not to be outdone by real-life Iron Man, Elon Musk, Ford CEO Jim Hackett began his exclusive interview with Joe Rogan Tuesday by breaking out his hand-embroidered, “Dr. Feelgood” Drug Kit and commencing to openly freebase crystal meth. As The Motor-City Madman pulled a spoon out of his bag, he asked Rogan, “you want to see some rockets?” The swollen-pupiled captain of industry then began live-tweeting open threats to key members of the Securities and Exchange Commission, before storming out of the studio in a fit of rage and proceeded to repeatedly ram his 2020 Ford Expedition into Rogan’s Model X, leaving the MMA Announcer speechless for the first time in his career.

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Gimlet Returns $150M of Purchase Price to Spotify

In a stunning turn of events, Gimlet Media returned $150M of their estimated $230M acquisition value to Spotify last week. Gimlet CEO, Alex Blumberg said in a press conference Friday, “while we are deeply grateful for Spotify’s willingness to pay so handsomely for our assets, it just feels a bit much. And we don’t want to see the whole industry get overvalued and burn out as we saw with so many now-defunct YouTube MCNs”. The move freed dollars to allow Spotify to continue their acquisition spree, gobbling up 4 other networks in ten days with an estimated 314 cumulative listeners.

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IAB, Olive Garden Launches Daily Podcast Upfront

In partnership with IAB, Olive Garden announced the new “Upfronts Happy Hour”, where every weekday between 5-7pm, customers across the country can gather and hear presentations from leading podcast networks about new shows now available for sponsorship while they indulge in endless salad and breadsticks! IAB CEO Randall Rothenberg said, “with over 700,000 podcasts in the landscape, we want to make sure advertisers have access to the freshest content available with endless soup and salad to boot.” Only 600 locations will participate in the new promotion for their soft-launch, with plans to scale to all US locations in the coming months. Hospitaliano!

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Sears Now Back in Business and Profitable Due to Breakout Podcast, SearsCast

SearsCast set worldwide download records last month and crashed iTunes with the release of Season 1, and thanks to the meteoric rise, the legacy retailer is now flush with cash. According to Chief Content Officer, Bill Busterson, “We saw so many branded podcasts finding commercial success, we figured we had nothing to lose at this point. But this was a windfall even our in-house financial prognosticators could not have predicted.” Sears is connecting with Americans underserved on issues that matter most with hit programs like The Kenmore Bros, Craftsman Connection and Warranty Wally. Move over murder, the iTunes charts just got an extreme home makeover.

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Luminary Pivots to Set Sights as QVC of Podcast

Last month, Luminary shocked the Podcast world with their giant leap into podcasting with an exclusive, ad-free network. Last week, they announced a sudden business model overhaul by announcing plans to go subscription free, all ads. CEO Matt Sacks proclaimed Thursday via Twitter, “Ads in Podcast are the future” complete with a money-bag emoji. The network plans to run 24 units of promo-code laden direct response ad copy for each hour of premium content.

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New Rosetta Stone Decodes IAB Podcast Measurement Guidelines

6 Minutes into the welcome speech at this year’s RAIN Podcast Business Summit in New York City, a ray of light beamed down through the auditorium, the ceiling split in two, and RAIN Founder and CEO Kurt Hanson descended holding a tablet that some are calling the Rosetta Stone of IAB Compliance. Attendees were temporarily blinded, but within hours regained all faculties and began to decipher the writings on ratings standardization and preach the intricacies of the 2.0 measurement practices in excruciating detail.

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Alex Jones Loses Comcast Deal

Broadcaster Alex Jones found his subscription deal with Comcast terminated Thursday of last week. Mr. Jones wasn’t getting paid by the cable giant, but rather simply lost his personal cable subscription due to claims he made on Twitter last month about the NBC/Comcast-owned family drama, This Is Us. In his March 5th tweet, Jones accused Mandy Moore’s Rebecca character of shapeshifting during the night’s episode. “Wake up America! This is a clear attack from the leftist, reptilian elite.” Jones said on his Pyle megaphone from his front yard. Shortly thereafter, a Regional Vice President from the Pyle company showed up at Jones’ door and took away his megaphone due to a “mandatory product recall”. Jones went on to say that he is currently in contract negotiations with DirecTV.

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Tim Cook Comes Out and Says It, “I Actually Just Hate Podcasts”

In an interview with Wired.com last week, Apple CEO Tim Cook finally admitted, “while there is a loyal podcast listening constituency within our ranks, I really don’t care about them at all. Quite frankly, I’m sick of people talking about Podcasts. It’s just pirate radio, OK. I hope our share of the distribution market continues to erode as I focus our resources and energy on being the 17th player to enter the Streaming Video space this week.” While the world’s most valuable company created the medium, Cook went on to share that the birth of podcast was just a freak accident, and that the company only pretended to get serious about offering analytics solutions as an inside joke to boost employee morale.

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